A lot of us girls dream of meeting our soul mate, our perfect match, and have an happily ever after.
Truth is our soul mate will challenge us. He will force us to get out of our comfort zone. The happily ever after won’t be happy all the time. And that’s okay, that’s how it’s supposed to be.
What’s not okay is to lose yourself in the relationship. You are your own person. Your partner is its own person and it’s healthy to have each your own passion as well as you have common passions and activities.
When you develop a relationship, it’s important to stay true to yourself, and let your partner be his/her true self too. If you can’t accept your partner the way he/she is, then you – need to work on your self-acceptance, or change partner if you really can’t deal with his less good sides. Why would he/she have to accept you the way you are, and you can’t accept him/her? It works both ways.
On another note, it is also important, when talking about relationships, to realize that your partner is not a trash bin where you can put all your anger, sadness and bitterness. You need to protect him/her from yourself.
I realized this because I myself am not always aware of my behaviour. My boyfriend recently told me I am complaining A LOT. I didn’t realize it, I thought I was just sharing my thoughts, but he receives it as complaints and he doesn’t deserve that. He has his own shit to take care of and doesn’t need me to add to his pile.
So I promised myself I will find another way to let my shit go, and leave him out of it. It’s a work in progress and might now happen overnight, but I’m working on improving myself.
When having a partner, we sometimes think he/she will fix everything that goes wrong in our life. It’s important to remember he/she is not there to do everything for you, take care of everything and all.
He/she is your partner to share your life. That’s it. And that means you still have to take care of yourself and fix yourself. He won’t fix you. It’s not his job, not his purpose. And changing partner won’t help, you’ll find yourself doing the same things all over again, with a different person.
So instead of changing partner, change yourself. Of course if your partner is violent or abusive by all means change partner right away. Otherwise, the first person who needs to change is YOU, and you’re the only person you can change.